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They Live In Us
Yizkor Yom Kippur
Rabbi Daniel Gropper
Community Synagogue of Rye
Of the stained glass that adorns our current sanctuary at 200 Forest
Ave., allow me to share my favorite.
On it you see a ladder, shapes depict angels ascending and
descending. Atop the ladder, we imagine God's presence. At its base, an
imaginary Jacob, dreaming away.
The artwork illustrates that foundational story of our people and it
reminds us that wherever we go, even if we are by ourselves, we are
never alone.
At times, I wonder about Jacob’s internal dialogue when he fi rst
heard God speak to him from that dream. “I am the Eternal, the God of
your fathers, of Abraham and of Isaac.” “The God of my father’s!?
Why else do you think I’m here in the desert? I’m trying to get away
from them. Don’t you know the story of what Grandpa tried to do to
Dad on Mt. Moriah? Of course you do. You commanded it. And don’t
get me started about my own Dad. He never loved me. He favored
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Esau. And what about my mom Rebecca? She orchestrated the whole
deception. I don’t need YOU reminding me of those guys. I’m running
for Haran precisely to get away from them! ”
To which my teacher Rabbi Lawrence Kushner used to say, “You
can’t run from your parents. No matter if they live far away. No matter
if they are living or dead, they sit right here (place hand on shoulder).
They whisper in your ear. Good or bad, you hear them wherever you
go.”
Recently, I’ve learned a little about a fi eld within genetic research
called Epigenetics. E
pigenetics
is a
process by which the operation of
genes is changed, but not the DNA itself.
Epigenetic changes occur on
the outside of the gene
where
clusters of atoms, called methyl groups,
attach to the outside of a gene like microscopic mollusks and make the
gene more or less able to receive and respond to biochemical signals
from the body.
While DNA determines inheritable characteristics, -things like hair
color, height or the shape of your nose - how the genes operate can be
affected by pollution, the food we eat, even exercise. This helps to
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explain why identical twins can end up with different diseases despite
having highly similar complements of genes.
It has even been found
that exercise can amplify the expression of proteins by genes. This can
affect
energy
,
metabolism, insulin response and inflammation within
muscles. In other words,
exercise can affect our genetic makeup which
in turn affects
how healthy and fi t our muscles — and bodies — become
,
not just how tall we are or the color of our eyes
1
.
But what if epigenetics affected not just us in our own lifetime but
carried over to the lifetimes of our children? In other words, what if our
behaviors - positive or negative - affected the genetic makeup of future
generations? Would that change how you live? And what if the events
experienced by our ancestors layered themselves onto our genetic code?
Could you forgive them?
Over this past year, researches at the
Icahn School of Medicine at
Mount Sinai and the James J. Peters Veterans Affairs Medical Center in
the
Bronx,
published papers suggesting that the children of Holocaust
survivors might be more susceptible to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
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1
“
How Exercise Changes Our DNA
”
By GRETCHEN REYNOLDS
,
New York Times,
DECEMBER 17, 2014 12:01 AM
The theory is that the stress and trauma of the Holocaust affected the
epigenetic make-up of the survivor. Imprinting itself of the on the
inherited genes of the child, this stress from the Holocaust creates the
possibility that the children of survivors may have a harder time
bouncing back from trauma in their own lives.
I know that there are many children of survivors among us. I have
heard many stories of your parents’ heroism, of their tenacity and their
sheer will to live. I know how strong and resilient many if not most of
you are. This research is very new, as
Rachel Yehuda
, the lead
researcher on this project stated, “
We are just at the beginning of
understanding this.”
2
But what it seems to suggest, especially for this
day and this moment of Yizkor, is this: like it or not, we carry our loved
ones with us. We carry their habits, their traumas and, I would hope and
pray, their sense of joy and hope and the love that washed over them
when our presence was felt. They sit right here.
In the hit movie and musical “The Lion King,” Mufasa, Simba’s
father sings to him about the great kings of the past, f
rom which the
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2
“
Descendants of Holocaust Survivors Have Altered Stress Hormones
.” Scientifi c America.
Feb. 12, 2015
those great
Kings are believed to watch over the world
and in particular,
watch over Simba. With the refrain, “they live in you,” sounding in the
background, Simba is made to feel tha
t he is never alone as there is
always someone watching over him
. With these new fi ndings in
epigenetics, it can be said that not only do our ancestors watch over us,
they literally live in us. We carry them with us wherever we go.
Like it or not, our back stories are literally written on our genes.
This means that a part of our personality is beyond our control so there
is no point laying blame. And yet, when it comes to memory, this
becomes an active choice. What do we want to remember? What parts
of our parents, spouses, siblings, children, grandparents, aunts or uncles,
friends do we want to carry with us? Ultimately we carry their stories
and the lessons of their lives with us: of the ones who answered the
phone late at night or rescued us from a bad date. Of the ones who
pushed us harder than no one else could and believed in us when no one
else would. Of the ones who mourned and laughed and danced. They
got it right sometimes and wrong sometimes and they were always there
for one more sit down, one more conversation, one more $20 bill slipped
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into our palms when no one else was looking (or when everyone was).
We carry the stories of the ones who spoke loudly and softly, who
embarrassed us by their mere presence and whom we put on pedestals as
our heroes. Our loved ones were activists and teachers and leaders and
just ones who spoke softly and walked quietly through life.
At the end of Tractate Sotah (49b), we encounter the powerful
litany of qualities that passed from the world with the passing of each of
our sages: When R. Meir died, there ceased to be masters of parables;
when Ben Zoom died, there ceased to be masters in exegesis; when R.
Akiva died, the glory of the Torah ceased; when Rabbi died, humility
and fear of sin passed from the world. It’s pretty depressing but there’s a
last minute, last word
nechemtah
, an uplift. After the litany of loss, the
text offers a correction of sorts. R. Nahcman says, “Do not say that with
the passing of Rabbi, fear of sin no longer exists,
d’ika ana
- because
I’m still here.”
My teacher Rabbi David Stern says that he chooses to read R.
Nachman’s statement not as an expression of ego, but of hope. Those
words
D’ika Ana
- I’m still here - express a gentle pushing back against
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mortality’s reign. Those two words are a simple declaration of human
presence and possibility. “I’m still here.”
For these, our beloved relatives, have died - but their love and
wisdom, the lessons of their lives in our own, have not.
D’ika Anan
: we
are still here. They live in us. We carry their spirits, their shining
example, their goodness and their love within us.
Zichronam Livracha: may their memory abide for a blessing.
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